Being An Orphan- My Experience

I'm not sure what the true test of life is, but death is trulyone of the exams. I have learned so much, and regretted so much.I have reflected and pondered and am still at a loss. When my dad died, I had lost a parent. When my mom died, I lost a family....Mom was the one who kept my siblings and me together, and made us feel like we still had a home, and a parents love and in a way was the link to most relatives. When she went, so did that feeling. Confusion and loneliness is an understatement. It was terrifying. Someone said that "when we lose a parent we lose partof ourselves, we lose our childhood, and our youth is behind usforever. This is a Grief in itself." The death of a parent shakes the very foundation of our lives and the death of both parents means having to stand alone...as a fully fledged adult.Losing both parents has become a spur to review my priorities and values. Suddenly wealth and possessions are not the be all and end all to me, having family, being rooted in the Lord, doing things I love to do like reading a good book with a glass of wine by the side etc are the most valuable things now.I still think about them everyday. I still yearn for their pride,their approval and just assume it is there. I want to do well and make them proud. It hurts though that they will not be there to see me get married, celebrate the births of my children and my
children will never know them. My parents will never be there to share my successes and failures and future joys and sorrows. I know they have become heavenly spectators and are looking down on me with a tear in their eyes spurring me on to keep running therace....because that's just how parents are.