My Very First Post In The Huffington Post

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Somebody almost walked off with all of my stuff (For Colored Girls)

As many times as I’ve heard this poem. It moved me like never before at this point in my life. I almost lost it all. I almost made the choice to lose it all. I almost gave another total control of my future. I almost allowed him to walk away with my sanity, my self worth, and my life. I became unrecognizable and yet God was doing so much in my life.Taking me to world platforms, opening great and effectual doors and taking my gifts before Kings and yet I was casting my pearls before swines. He was so broken and I thought I could save him but in the end both of us needed to be saved. So often we give so much of our self to one person till there's nothing left for you and you realize you gave some body all your stuff they didn't even have to take it. This is not the full poem I shortened it and personalised it. 

Hope it inspires someone to get your stuff back!

Somebody almost walked off with all of my stuff (For Colored Girls)

***I personalised and added my own name

Somebody almost walked off with all of my stuff
And didn't care enough to send a note home saying I was late for my solo conversation
Or two sizes too small for my own tacky skirts

What can anybody do with something of no value on
a open market?
did you get a dime for my things?
hey man
Did you get a dime for my things?
Hey man, where are you going with all of my stuff?
This is a woman's trip, I need my stuff

Honest to God! Somebody almost ran with all of my stuff
And I didn't bring anything but the kick and sway of it
...and none of it is theirs
This is mine...Taffy L.Gotora 's own things,...
That's my name now give me my stuff

I see you hiding my laugh and how
I gotta have to get to my choice
So you can't have me unless I give me away
And I was doing all that till you ran off on a good thing
And who is this you left me with? A bad attitude

I i wants my things I want my arm wit the birth mark
& my leg with the bike burns
i want my calloused feet & quik language back in my mouth
I want my own things how I love them
stealin my stuff from me
dont make it yrs
makes it STO…LEN
somebody almost run off wit all of my stuff!!
& i was standin there
looking at myself
the whole time & it wasnt a spirit who took my stuff
It was a man who's ego won't drown like road ants shadow
It was a man faster than my innocence
It was a lover I made too much room for almost ran off with all of my stuff

And i didnt know I’d give it up so quick
And the one runnin wit it
don’t know he got it
And i’m shoutin this is mine
And he dont know he got it/
my stuff is the anonymous ripped off treasure of the year
did you know somebody almost got away wit me?
me in a plastic bag under their arm
me
danglin on a string of personal carelessness
i’m spattered with mud & city rain
And no i didnt get a chance to take a douche
hey man!
this is not your prerogative
i gotta have me in my pocket
to get round like a good woman should

Why dont your find your own things
And leave this package of me for my destiny
I’m the only one that
can HANDLE it
Somebody almost ran off with all of my stuff
And I was standing there looking at myself the whole time
Did you know somebody almost got away with me!
Me! in a plastic bag under his arm, Me!Taffy L.Gotora!
Somebody almost walked off with all of my stuff!

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Christmas Without You- Coping with grief at Christmas

Christmas is a time of mixed feelings for those who are missing someone they love. As we gather with family and friends, the absence of a loved one
may be felt even more intensely. Whether it’s a parent or partner who has left the family or a loved one who has died, you may be left feeling out of step with the jolliness of the season and the carols. It is especially important at this time to take care of yourself and those around you who have also experienced significant loss or change .

It's important to remember that not everyone is surrounded by large wonderful families. Some of us have problems during the holidays and sometimes are overcome with great sadness when we remember the loved ones who are not with us. And, many people have no one to spend these times with and are besieged by loneliness.

While some people keep busy to distract themselves others prefer to withdraw to their memories and reflections there is no right or wrong way to act or feel.I remember the first Christmas after my mum went to be with the Lord exactly a year after my dad's passing. I had my two little nieces over and was determined that they would have the best Christmas ever. Christmas day arrived and I felt so depressed and could not even get up from my bed because I was suddenly overwhelmed by grief. Fortunately my older sister came over and she later on took over the cooking and entertaining of the kids because I was now a basket case.Generally mothers are the hub of a time like Christmas and their departure can mean the end of some of the activities, i believe the same applies to children who pass away, their parents may find occasions like Christmas difficult because children are at the centre of Christmas celebrations.

Here are some pointers that might help you manage your grief feelings over Christmas

1.Do something to remember the person you are missing, play their favourite music, go to a place they loved or do something you used to do together, write them a Christmas card, share memories and stories with others who loved them. If the kids are missing the person involve them and ask how they would like to remember their loved one

2.Accept Help.If you feel like you are not coping reach out to people you trust and say yes to support or company

3.Give yourself permission to do less, people will understand if you do not bake cookies for everyone or if you miss a few parties.The most important thing is taking care of yourself and those around you.

4.Start new traditions, my parents were staunch Anglicans and attended Christmas mass but I do it differently with my daughter.

5.If a family has been split through divorce or separation, Christmas day may become a logistic struggle for the children who now have two places to be.Make this easier for them by including them in plans ahead of time and making the transition as smooth as possible and do your best to avoid competition over time spent with the children or size or expense of gifts.

6. Let yourself have fun, If you are feeling happy go with it- it does not mean that you are forgetting or forsaking the who is not there.

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ."- 2 Corinthians 1:3-5

PRIDE IN MY ROOTS

Many of those who are African have the iniquity of idolatry, sorcery and many other evil things in their ancestral lineage. As a result, the focus tends to be on the negative to the neglect of the positive traits of our genealogy which are for our good and favour! David took time to find out his genealogy and used that as an advantage to save his parents from Saul in 1 Samuel 22:3 “And David went from there to Mizpah of Moab; and he said to the king of Moab, Let my father [of Moabite descent] and my mother, I pray you, come out [of Judah] and be with you till I know what God will do for me.” David’s ancestor Boaz had broken the cultural norm and regulations and married Ruth the Moabitess and David grabbed that piece of history to his advantage.



A positive trait I have found out from my lineage and tribe is the aspect of leadership and influence. Like David, I have wisely taken that legacy for myself and taken my place of leadership and influence. The Mhofu (Eland) clan was the first clan to acknowledge and treat daughters on an equal level with their brothers and so Chihera women were included at the family dare (decision making meeting) , problems would emanate when they married into different tribes where women were not on an equal footing and trouble would arise in the marriage. Our clan chief Hwata Chiripanyanga in 1892, played a leadership role in the First Chimurenga war of Southern Rhodesia in June 1896. He worked with Nehanda Nyakasina to organise resistance by the Hwata people against British settlers who had invaded their lands at PaGomba in Mazoe valley. Hwata lost the lives of 100 fighters in guerrilla type battles with British settlers. He surrendered together with Mbuya Nehanda and both were executed in 1898 for their participation in the war.The Hwata people who are my ancestors endured the brunt of the Second Chimurenga, the war of liberation that finally defeated the white rulers of Southern Rhodesia. Many Hwata youths took up arms to participate in the war of liberation between 1973 and 1979 which brought independence from British rule on 18 April 1980.Today if you look at most women in key positions and running successful businesses or in leadership in the church in Zimbabwe are from this Vahera clan of the Mhofu totem. I am from the Chihera clan of the Mhofu totem and proud that God planned and designed that I come from such a clan. ‪#‎proudlyChihera‬

ABOUT LOVE.....

I have loved and lost
I have trusted and been betrayed,
I have believed in people and been deceived and taken advantage of
I have experienced the pain of unrequited love
I have experienced the broken heart countless times,
The wrenching emptiness and the pain and horror of rejection,
I have let my guard down for the wrong men and built walls around my heart and missed on opportunities because I would not let some good people in.

I have loved men who didn’t share my love for God, and have split my heart.
I have believed in a lie that my worth was based on my looks and popularity, and have split my soul.
I have made decisions not in line with what God’s ways, and have split my mind.
I have pursued love in the wrong places because I didn’t feel whole alone, and have split my strength.

But I STILL BELIEVE IN LOVE BECAUSE GOD IS LOVE!!!!

" Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things, LOVE NEVER FAILS- 1 Corinthians 13:7-8

TRIBUTE TO A TRUE ZIMBABWEAN PATRIOT AND NATIONAL HERO

Its exactly 6 years since you were taken from us but in our hearts you still live. The rest of the people remember you as a visionary leader who was once the Vice-President of Zimbabwe but I remember you as the nephew who loved me and honoured me and never ever called me by first name. I remember you living with us for a while because our farm was closest to your farm and because you were hiding away from the Gukurahundi ordeal which affected you and your family and resulted in your Bulawayo house burning and your dear wife being seriously injured in the fire. I remember arguing with you then that there could be no possible way I could be your mother since you were old and had a beard and I wasnt even in school. But now I look in retrospect maybe you saw a bit of your late mother in me since she was my tete and from my bloodline or maybe you saw the greatness in me that I didnt see then or maybe you just respected the fact that I was your maternal aunt regardless of our age difference.

The day you took me on a day trip in the helicopter with other cabinet members is forever etched in my heart. I was in high school then and you called my dad to say you wanted to take your mum (me) along with you to see you at work. I sat and mixed with high profile politicians; even ate what they ate as well and I was only 15 or 16 I think, all because of you. I was even more excited when saw myself on TV in the news when they were reporting about the trip. When you invited me to ride in the presidential motorcade with you at a family gathering that also caused jealousy even among grown up relatives who wanted the same honour. I even became apologetic and would go and sit in the background at your family functions to avoid the outrage but you would still single me out and take me to the high table and shout at them saying "why are you seating her with the commoners when she is my mother." I am certain they were just as baffled as I was at why you were ordering them to wait on a mere child. When I went on the helicopter trip with you I had all the other ministers calling me "Amai" 'mother'as well and being respectful to me because of you, You would proudly introduce me as your mother to your other peers and always affirmed me.I had no accolades , I wasnt rich, I was a cocky kid but the excitement and pride you took in introducing me still moves me to tears. Later on when I was older and I visited your state residence with my friends I remember you spicing up the helicopter story to my friends and you telling them that I had been on a plane with you.

You even allowed me to grill you about the land invasions. When the landgrabbing started you ordered the war vets to get off the farms and then retracted the statement and you explained to me that " had you ordered the war vets off civil war could have started and the west would have said look at those savages killing each other.You even shared your concerns about the manner in which the farms were taken and how they were being distributed. You even stood up for many white farmers who were unfairly treated. You were about upholding peace and justice, each morning you woke up and saw your wife's scars from Gukurahundi and went to work - to work with the very people who caused your wife's scars because you understood that not everything was about you, because you had given yourself to this nation. Not many people knew how principled you were and did not like your family to have an 'entitlement mentality' expecting favours and short cuts because of you. You would always say "endai kuri kuenda vamwe' "just apply for it like everyone else , follow the due process" Not many people knew that the farm you had in Concession you didnt grab it from anyone you bought it after independence, Not many people knew that you only had one house in Harare and another in Bulawayo in your constituency. Not many people knew that you gave your life to the Lord at an Action Conference at Hear the Word Church(Celebration Church). Not many people knew that you were a staunch Anglican and that you were inducted as a lay-reader in the church meaning that you were effectively a sub deacon and could conduct mass in church should the priest be absent.Not many people knew that you were also the patron of St Albans Anglican Mission School in Chiweshe where you were born and bred. They knew you as Bruno, Mlambo, Dziva, the Honourable Vice President. I knew you as my nephew, mwana wangu, mwana wavatete vangu. I remember your love and respect for me and I remember your love and dedication to this beautiful nation. I have committed myself to play my part in whatever way I can in bringing about the Zimbabwe you envisaged so that when I see you again in God's glory you can show me off again.

Lesson learned through giving

                                                                  

When I was in hospital after my C-section in Mbuya Nehanda Maternity Home I witnessed mothers who lived in abject poverty and would not even have clothes for their newborn so I started giving away some of what I had for my own baby even though at that time I was not working and had nothing. I was literally living on handouts and assistance from friends and not even sure how I was going to provide for my baby after we were discharged from the hospital.

It pained me to see some people did not even have cotton wool for the post natal bleeding ...I then immediately understood why I had been in that situation so I shared the little I had. I gave away some clothes and wrappers and cotton wool and even shared food that my family and friends would bring me because some of the people did not get visitors at every session and I had visitors at every slot and they always brought food and more clothes.

Because I am an orphan I did not get a lot of help from most relatives except for a few family members. Most people who helped me were friends and most of them were not at all wealthy.So I gave away what I had after realizing that we are all conduits of God's blessings no matter how much we get.

You too are a channel of love, you don't have to be Bill Gates to change a life. The little you do will go a long way.You can even start with extended family then the church through giving of alms and then proceed to other charities.

"The Lord Jesus himself said: 'It is more blessed to give than to receive. "- Acts 20:35

THANKSGIVING 2014

1. I am grateful for my relationship with God. He has never left or forsaken me.

2. I am grateful for the honour of being a mum to my Nyasha Grace. Just when i feel down she just has to smile or give me her random hugs n kisses and suddenly nothing else matters.

3. I am grateful for the ability to write. for me writing is therapeutic and helps me confront my personal issues. I. have suffered a lot of tragedies in my life including surviving rape at age 4 and sexual molestation and so I write with the intention to help others heal and overcome their issues

4. I am grateful for my parents Fanwell and Mavis Gotora. Even though they are no longer alive they left a rich legacy of love and faith that I continue to harvest from.The one outstanding thing about my mum is the odds she had to overcome. By the time she met my dad my mum was a single mum in the 1960's but she had her life organised. she had taken out mortage and owned a property and she was driving and doing well in her nursing career! My dad must have been a really confident man to have married such a strong succesful woman. He loved my mum so much he adopted my two sisters as his own and then his family also just drafted them in till today my sister is treated like a Gotora all because of my dad's big heart. My dad pampered me with affection and really believed in me and so I am thankful that he was my dad and a father figure to many and he LOVED with no reservation.

5. I am grateful for my two sunday school teachers Denise Gaisford and Diana Berwick who introduced me to a Jesus who could be my friend.I I got my first bible then after reciting 3 memory verses to Denise.I fell in love with the Bible then and couldn’t stop reading it. I enjoyed reading it so much that soon my fairytale books like Cinderella and Snow White then took second place to the Bible because it captured me and I was so busy memorising new memory verses so Denise and Diana could give me more Bible stickers to stick in my new Bible. . My love for the bible began at an early age because of these 2 awesome women. What stands out for me is that when I was baptised in the Holy Spirit in high school suddenly all the verses and stuff I knew about from the Bible were illuminated in my memory even though it had been so long!

6. I am grateful for the child evangelism and youth ministry initiatives that allowed me to grow in the Lord. I attended scripture union camps in junior school , Youth Encounter Camps after high school and attended 2 Avalanche camps by the Oasis Trust with Stephen Jack and my faith was shaped significantly. I was also disciplied in High school by the Pentecostal Assemblies Upper Room Youth Pastor Manuel Singano and Solo Chibs who came to my school every week to teach us the Word of God and spoke into my life in a significant way.

7. I am grateful for good health, fiercely loyal friends who pray for me, believe for me and fight for me.The type of friends God has blessed me with are like those in the book of Mark who made a hole in the roof just to make sure their paralysed friend got his breakthrough. I am grateful for the rich relationships and divine connections God has brought through my blogging and facebook posts.I am grateful for the men and women of God who speak into my life,instruct and cover me

8. I am grateful that I live in Zimbabwe, Africa. A very beautiful and peaceful country..

9.I am grateful for my job, it allows me to use my creativity and helps me learns so many new things.I also love the working environment.

10. I am thankful I was introduced to death at an early age. I am thankful I was in the mortuary/morgue identifying my sister's body in the same room with death and that I watched it be buried deep into the ground, so I would understand that this transition of experience and loss of life is an inevitable part of every story.
I am thankful for all the things I never wanted to experience. The things I cried out against, and the ones that have felt nothing but unfair. What I want is oftentimes not what I need in the first place, and it’s through these experiences, and not getting things my way, I’ve grown the most. I am thankful that my life is a beautiful mess, full of painful mistakes, falling but getting back up, crying some times but laughing hard most of it, hurting, forgiving, new friends, new experiences, many many chances to start over....I love my life Thank You Jesus.I am one really blessed woman‪#‎thanksgiving‬

"In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you- 1 Thessalonians 5:18 NKJV