Echoes of a once wounded but now restored heart...

It was right in the midst of a terrible storm... I was frightened because it was so dark... My clothes were wet and my body was numb from the cold My feet were swollen and blistered because i had walked many a mile In search of a place to call home.... A safe place to rest. I started crying because I was frightened and alone... I needed somewhere to hide ...a safe shelter from the storm But there was nothing in sight... Then Love beckoned me.... I was too scared to trust.... Having been used and abused in the past i put up a defence But love wouldnt give up on me... Love cried and pleaded with me and Wouldnt leave my side... Love was beside me in storm and wouldnt leave I laid down my defence and gave in...and followed Love Then Love brought  me Home Love welcome me into my new Home with Acceptence Thats where I intend to stay till Jesus comes back for me... To take me to the Home that He is preparing for me... Written By Tafadzwa Lillian Gotora 2008

It all came about rather suddenly, my father was 69 years old and to me, he was my hero. He was Superman. The strongest, most accomplished man I had ever met. He worked hard and was eternally devoted to his family. Never in my wildest dreams, did I ever consider he would become sick in any way .He started to forget things and his personality began to change and it broke my heart.One day he drove off and got lost and had no idea where he was, I called him on his cellphone and he kept telling us the wrong thing and then we heard someone talking in the background and we asked dad to give the other person his phone and he did...and we asked that person where dad was and he told us..thats how we found him. Suddenly dad needed to be babysat as he would walk out of the house and then start calling out that he was lost, it broke my heart to witness how his confusion terrified him and so drastically there was a reversal of roles as I had to take care of him and he could no longer father me.When

My first encounter with the Lord was at the tender age of nine at Amandas Sunday School when I was led to the Lord by a woman named Denise Gaisford who was then my teacher. I got my first bible then after reciting 3 memory verses to Denise, I fell in love with the Bible then and couldn’t stop reading it. I enjoyed reading it so much that soon my fairytale books like Cinderella and Snow White then took second place to the Bible because it captured me and I was so busy memorising new memory verses so Denise could give me more Bible stickers to stick in my new Bible. My family was Anglican and yet not regular attendants at that time. I was so hungry for God that at the age of eleven I asked Denise to pray for me to receive the gift of tongues, I never received it then but I was still yearning for more of God. I attended many Scripture Union Camps at that time. At the age of twelve I was a boarder at my school and young lady who was Anglican and a bursar at my school told me she was gettin

Although right now I am experiencing a broken heart, the wrenching emptiness and the horror of rejection and seeing the guy concerned go about his merry way and pursue another right in my face. I am going to trust in God. The tears have been falling Lord...and sometimes the feelings range from jealousy. anger, resentment, and one minute i think i am fine the next i am throwing a tantrum and throwing a pity party... and comparing myself to the girl who was chosen. But Lord i know you are dealing with my heart, I know you want to heal me completely and restore me.Everyday I am learning .....I am learning to trust in you. I am learning to believe that you love me....that you know the real flawed and insecure me and yet you still love me... I have to remember that you want me, you chose me....I am awed that you think i am worthwhile... Lord I hank you that you have changed my name, that I am no longer called Lonely, outcast,wounded or afraid... I Thank you that you call me by a new name: c

What is beauty? Is it really skin deep? Or is it honestly depicted in Cosmopolitan magazines? Commercials for Revlon or Hollywood movie screens? Cause if that it beauty, then it is something we do not need With bleached hair, coloured contacts, chipped noses and chins, face lifts, tucked stomachs and enlarged lips, slimmed hips to mimic Barbie dolls and lure wannabe Ken’s and live in an imaginary world, where nothing is real – except your lack of self-esteem- cause it’s the devil’s scheme to set an illusion of standards: like women must be under a certain weight, or they are overweight when God gave then a body that the heavens’ celebrate. But in a culture of which measures success by money and appearance, we are often lured into this shinning darkness with false promises or a fulfilling fantasy that, ТALL WILL BE WELL, IF ONLY I CAN FIX MY IMPERFECTIONS! failing to realize that beauty stems from the inside out, not the outside in and our bodies are not our own but temples of Him. So

So here I am, have come a long way and faced a lot of adversity, pain, rejection, loss of of parents, verbal and mental abuse, rape and I am still standing!!!!!All those years I thought I was worthless and not good enough.. Suddenly Having God on my side I realise that I deserve love...I have learnt and still am learning to love myself.. I love photography, I love capturing beautiful, magical moments into still life. I look at the photos of me and I see beauty, a softness and a radience beams out out of me.. I see a genuine heart that wants to love and help,A compassionate heart...A joyful counternance..There is so much beauty in me …Most importantly the Lord Jesus Christ dwells in my heart.I am learning to trust again and by God’s grace I survivedEach day I am growing, Each day I am learning, Every day in every way I am getting better and better.. Even that boy who hurt me doesn’t have a hold of me anymoreI have released him from my heart as well as the curses that resulted From him b

Had it not been for your enduring love I would not be here in your secret place Just being in your presence and overwhelmed by your love I can’t even begin to think of any other place I would want to be Besides sitting on your laps and surrounded by those loving arms. Nail pierced Lord where else could I find peace, joy and healing Where would I be? If it hadn’t been for you If you hadn’t taken my place at the cross. I would be nowhere without you Jesus… Truly Lord Jesus I would be nowhere, I would not be where I am right now in The Shadow of your wings. Written in 2001 by Tafadzwa Lillian Gotora

Lord I can never comprehend the agony that you went through for me Here during your time on earth as a Man of sorrows. You were so despised and rejected by man but You did it all for me because you loved me. Oh Lord sometimes I just can’t bear to think of it at all, You on your way to the cross, I think of how they stripped you, mocked you and humiliated you I think of how they laughed and spat in your face As they put a crown of thorns on you You would not even speak a word to defend yourself when they falsely accused you. Thirty-nine times they whipped you like a criminal for a crime that I had committed The thirty-nine lashes left deep stripes in your back yet you silently took it all And even went on to carry your cross on your wounded bleeding back. On that cross you were so lonely, rejected, helpless and thirsty, yet you took it all. It was your wonderful love for me that drove you to that cross in the first place. You took all that disgrace for me and bore my pain and shame for

I WAS BROKEN REJECTED AND IN A TERRIBLE LIFELESS STATE. THINGS SEEMED TO GET WORSE AND WORSE YET I TRIED SO HARD. THE SEARCH FOR ACCEPTANCE AND FOR WHO I REALLY WAS CONTINUED TO BE FRUITLESS, UNFULFILLING AND NEVERENDING... YOU SEE I TRIED TO DO ALL I COULD TO GET IT TO GET SOMETHING TO FILL THAT EMPTINESS IN MY HEART BUT I FOUND NO SOLACE- BUT I STILL RAN ON... I WANTED TO BE FREE I WANTED TO ESCAPE FROM THE CHAIN OF EMOTIONAL PAIN THAT WAS BOILING IN ME THE NEGATIVE WORDS AND THEIR RIDICULE AND TAUNTS WERE LIKE FIERY DARTS AIMING FOR MY WEAK AND BROKEN HEART. THE TORMENT WAS SO PAINFUL BUT I FOUND NO RELIEF IT FELT LIKE THERE WAS NO HOPE OF ESCAPING. THEN HE CAME SEARCHING FOR ME HE FINALLY FOUND ME STANDING ALONE, NAKED COLD BLEEDING

Does one stop loving because they have not received love in return for theirs? Does one stop giving because they have not been thanked? Does one stop trusting because they have been cheated? The urge to build a wall and shut out everyone because of the fear of being rejected, cheated, misunderstood and maligned is quite strong but I choose to love selflessly like my Lord, He did not stop trusting Peter even though he had denied him three times, He still entrusted Peter with the keys, He was rejected and humiliated on the cross by people he loved, people who He wanted to redeem, people He had come on earth to set free, people whose broken hearts He had come to bind, whose eyes He had come to open, whose sins He had chosen to take upon His shoulders, Whose pain He had chosen to bear in their place -But still He loved and still today He loves regardless of what we do, and because He is LOVE will love till eternity. Yes I will cry, but I will not wallow in self-pity and harden my heart, I

For so long I have walked with my head hung low, For so long I have carried these heavy burdens of life, For so long I have shed many a tear and cried myself to sleep For so long I have allowed them to walk all over me, For so long I have allowed them to use me and abuse me For so long I have wallowed in self pity... For so long I have been down under.. For so long I have been their victim... For so long I have believed the lie that I wasnt worth much For so long I have allowed the cruelty towards me to define me For so long I have allowed myself to be their object of ridicule For so long I have partnered with my enermies to destroy me But Today ....I evolve But Today... yes my legs are trembling but I 'AM' standing But Today...I look into my heart and I see strength But Today..I look into my mirror and discover beauty epitomised But Today...I look at my scars and realise that I am a Surviver But Today...I think of everything i have overcome and realise I am a Victor But Today.

I am capable. I am worthwhile.I am beautiful. I am loveable.I shall accept both my strengths and weaknesses for they are me. I shall never again believe the “lie” that if I make a mistake,I am a mistake.My mistakes are the learning tools that I shall encounter on my life journey. When I learn from my mistakes, I give them meaningWhen I give my mistakes meaning, I can begin to forgive myself,I can begin to heal. I shall not use my mistakes as excuses to give up on me… My mistakes are not me. I shall seek the wisdom to nurture my heart, mind, body and soulso that I may feel more centred, providing an energy reserve… …that allows me to climb the mountains in my own life …that allows me to love and support others who are climbing a different mountain …that allows time for friends, play and the celebration of life. I shall allow myself to feel capable so that I may seek excellence. I shall allow myself to feel sadness so that joy may return. I shall allow myself to feel joy so that I may be

I'm not sure what the true test of life is, but death is trulyone of the exams. I have learned so much, and regretted so much.I have reflected and pondered and am still at a loss. When my dad died, I had lost a parent. When my mom died, I lost a family....Mom was the one who kept my siblings and me together, and made us feel like we still had a home, and a parents love and in a way was the link to most relatives. When she went, so did that feeling. Confusion and loneliness is an understatement. It was terrifying. Someone said that "when we lose a parent we lose partof ourselves, we lose our childhood, and our youth is behind usforever. This is a Grief in itself." The death of a parent shakes the very foundation of our lives and the death of both parents means having to stand alone...as a fully fledged adult.Losing both parents has become a spur to review my priorities and values. Suddenly wealth and possessions are not the be all and end all to me, having family, being ro

I have packed up my bags and am ready to leave My Pain behind..: I am living behind the Heartaches, Disappointments, and Failures… This time there is no room for Negative Criticism I am definitely leaving behind Bitterness, and Rejection, Low-self esteem is not coming on this trip and neither is Regret You see only Me, Myself and I are going away this time, This time it's only Me who gets to go, This time it's about Me, This time "Me" gets to have her way This time "Me" get to take time out… None of my former companions who I have named above are welcome.. None of these mates of mine are coming with me on this journey …. This journey that I am on is an exciting one This journey that I am on is a journey of a lifetime So I won't be coming back to My Pain, I won't be coming back to Heartaches, Disappointments, Failures.. I am definitely not coming back to Negative Criticism, Bitterness and Rejection Neither am I coming back to Low-Self Esteem and Regre