Contending for my faith....

Jud 1:3 Beloved, when I gave all diligence to write unto you of the common salvation, it was needful for me to write unto you, and exhort you that ye should earnestly contend for the faith which was once delivered unto the saints

Contend-To strive in opposition or against difficulties, maintain or assert

For the first time in my life I have finally gotten to understand where Jude was coming from when he wrote the letter in the bible to exhort them to contend for the faith. He actually says that it was it was needful that he does so. Indeed if I had read this scripture in the early days of being a Christian and grasped what Jude was trying to say I would not be where I am now. I have always encouraged those who were about to lose their faith,I have given counsel andI have interceded but now its me who is fighting to keep my hope alive. In this season I have even considered giving up on my faith in God, I have found myself questioning God’s faithfulness as I have experienced attacks from the enermy in almost every sphere of my life. I have takes some hard knocks from the devil that have left me wondering if there is a just God and yet he is more than a just, justice and righteousness are the foundations of His throne. I came across this poem on the net and it best describes where I am at…


Fighting to keep fighting
Trying to survive
Inside I feel I'm dying
One memory at a time.

Afraid, alone, despairing
Feeling so out of control
Inside my heart not caring
My heart no longer whole

But now my heart is troubled.
I struggle to survive.
The intensity has doubled.
They want to take my life.

Not just my life, my story...
A help for those in need.
But God will get the glory
His victory I will seek

I feel it's coming soon...
I'm weary in this fight.
Victory I will pursue...
Against them I will fight.

I must resist the need
To take my life forever
The Holy Spirit heed
Can we get through together?

All I need is trust in God
To heal me from within
My faith in God just seems so small...
Can God take away this pain?

What if I do let go
And give it all to Him?
Will true peace I know?
Will He take it all on Him?

But these hurts, they seem too big
For even God to take away.
Every moment that I live
Within my heart they stay

I hear that He forgives me
I struggle every day
I accept the gift He gave me
as God takes my hurts away

I am attending an Easter Camp with the theme 'unleashed'
I am looking forward to it with
everything in me because I am desperate for a fresh move and personal
revival in my own life, I am in a season where I am in combat mode
contending for my own faith which has come under attack on all angles
(social,spiritual, work, financial) and I am battling to stay afloat
But, but God daily gives me strength each day to to get by and somehow
encourages me to not lose heart .... Its a difficult place to be for
me to be...even more because I have been spirit filled for 10 years
since high school and yet here I am struggling to believe God to be
faithful to fulfill the prophecies that were made over my life by the
wonderful and powerful instructors and mentors in my life and
prophecies He personally spoke to me about. Now I am struggling to
trust the God who told me to leave a very well paying good job and
turn down even better paying jobs because I was not satisfied and
wanted to serve Him in full time ministry...so with everything in me I am
crying out to Him that Lord light the fire again,dont let my love grow
cold, visit me and touch me again and unleash my destiny at this
Easter at Camp Unleashed.