His Glory in me shall be revealed.

As 2009 draws to an end i am sad and in so much pain and yet there is so much exciting stuff that God has for me in 2010, I have always yearned to be in church but now I find that I have to push myself to go to church because of all the aspersions that have been cast on my character regarding an undefined relationship that had no boundaries. JT is taking out his grief on me and a lot has been said by people and it hurts , I mean I feel naked...exposed, like really he has done damage to me and yet I have been there for him now, he acts like we were never close...i have been accused of stalking him and yet I never went to his place ,he came to mine lotsa times but how do I get through this humiliation?..…I just stand on God’s word and promise that I can choose to make this difficult circumstance a stepping stone to the manifestation of His grace and glory. And really my passion is that my life would glorify His name. I refuse to let the enemy use this situation to neutralize me. …We talk about God’s glory but no one mentions the process to glory…the protocol to glory is suffering…as

1Pe 1:11 They tried to find out when the time would be and how it would come. This was the time to which Christ's Spirit in them was pointing, in predicting the sufferings that Christ would have to endure and the glory that would follow.

1Pe 4:13 Rather be glad that you are sharing Christ's sufferings, so that you may be full of joy when his glory is revealed

Rom 8:18 I consider that what we suffer at this present time cannot be compared at all with the glory that is going to be revealed to us.


Its in black and white, the glory is revealed after we have gone through some form of suffering for Christ. So I just try to visualize the glory that will be revealed in me after this storm is over, how my heart will have been dealt with and more Christlike, how I will have more compassion on those suffering rejection, how I will be able to touch many lives with my testimony, How I will radiate the love and life of Christ, that alone gives me the courage to persevere .Funny thing is God spoke to me when He sent me to Braeside Church in April 2009 and I wrote it down in my journal in March I think:

Tafadzwa I want you to love my children at Braeside.some of them will hurt you and some won’t understand you but just love them. From now on you will see them as I see them, I see them as precious. Even the mean ones you will clearly see and perceive their pain. You will see, your level of discernment has increased so you will see their need even in their cruel intentions. You are going to hate no man, you will just love them, even the ones who have wounded you and pierced you, you will love them, you will realize and say ‘what you mearnt to hurt me God mearnt for my good and to save the lives of many

.

I am reading a book called "Yesterday I cried" written by some new age person called Iyanla Vanzant and am finding it useful, I just change what she refers as spirit to Holy Spirit and whole lot of other terms that they use so that they agree with scripture.. I am learning so much and really am learning that some of the things that have been happening to me I played a part things like:

Doing things I believe people will make people like me
Ignoring the pain instead of losing a familiar situation
Needing to be liked to my own self detriment
Asking other people what they think I should do
Being afraid of myself
Not trusting myself
Not valuing myself
Putting everyone else’ need above mine
Not asking for help when I need it

I just want and have a need to be loved and yet it starts with me, I have to relearn how to love myself and surround myself with people who love me and celebrate me. I celebrated Xmas just the way my late dad taught me, went to church for the Xmas service ...Dad would always make sure that we all attend Church together on Christmas,mum was not always there because as a nurse sometimes she would be on duty at the Hospital so I did what my late folks would have wanted and celebrated their memories on Christmas day.God really ministered His love to me and I was encouraged.Somehow I know that whatever is going on in my life right now will count for something,I Know I will be okay because God has a lot in store for me including someone who is going to love me and celebrate who I am ,someone who will show his love for me in public,someone who will pray for me and with me and protect and cover me...2010 HERE I COME.!!!!

FOR YOU O LORD ARE A SHIELD FOR ME,MY GLORY AND YOU LIFT MY HEAD!!!!!!!!!!
THANK YOU FOR LIFTING MY HEAD

Stability at last...

28 September 2009



I I have wept so much and worshipped so much, the fallow ground of my heart has been ploughed up and my love for God and His people has taken a depth and significance unparalled in my life. I am standing on a new foundation of maturity and responsibility.Stability is something that has seemed to evade me at critical times, but my continuing to seek God’s face has brought and will continue to bring me to a place of divine stability.Not a stability based on my emotions or finances, but a strong endurance based on my faith and relationship with God.


I have been in a rather long season that has caused me to redefine my life in every aspect .My priorities have been rearranged, my relationships have taken on new meanings, some closer and some more distant.I spent a good part of my Christian walk without root/stem but now my roots have grown deeper and produced fruit.It has been a stretch, but the fruit continue to be maturity and stability

This is my hour

Last May i celebrated my spiritual birthday !!!!! I rededicated my
life to the Lord
on the 21st of May 2000 and was received the baptism of the Holy
Spirit two days later on the 23rd of May 2000. Immediately after this
Holy Ghost Baptism , My Scripture Union teacher prophecied to me that
I had received the Holy Spirit in a powerful way and had received the
gift of Intercession and would move mountains. She also said that my
family would change. A month later another Intercessor reconfirmed
that I had indeed received the ministry of Intercession. I took this
seriously I read every book I could lay hands on about Intercession
and attended the Zimbabwe National day of prayer on the 25th of May
2000 just a few days after being Spirit filled because I was excited
about God and the ministry of Intercession that I had received. I
also came to know about the Cindy Jacobs Prophecy in May 2000 and now
9 years later I am serving and interceeding for the women who brought
the prophecy to Zimbabwe –Pastor Nicky and Pastor Priscah, I have come
full circle indeed. I gained all the riches in May…May is a month of
significance , I may have lost my siblings and my parents in May but I
gained the Holy Spirit who is my Teacher, Comforter, Advocate,
Intercessor, My Helper , My everything. I thank God that May is no
longer a month of mourning and loss for me but a month of gain,
fruitfulness and restoration. As I celebrate the 9th year of
fellowship with the Holy Spirit this month I am excited coz 9 is the
number of fruitfulness and multiplication. I know something
significant is about to take place.

Indeed something siginficant did take place last May. So much impartation took place and God elevated me in so many ways i am in awe. its so significant that we had our annual conference in may , the month I celebrate my Holy Ghost baptism annivesary. Since then I heard God loudly tell me that my life is not my own. Back then my life was so self -focused but its all about Jesus- the author and finisher of my faith.

9 years ago, I was a overzealous high schooler speaking in tongues and thinking I had arrived but now I see that my ministry is only starting to take place now ..This season I am have been right now was a season of separation. This is the season where God is separating me or work that He has been preparing me for all my life. Life has thrown a lot at me but God kept me standing because He had a plan and a purpose for me. He also was purifying my heart.

God had also been exposing wrong attitudes and issues of my own heart and ouch the process is painful but I know that God will always perfect that which concerns me so I trust Him with my heart...I am excited that God kept me hidden and has been preparing me for this Hour..This is my hour!!!!!!!

Finally In the flow of my destiny!!!!!!

I have been working for my church for the past 2 moths and loving it although they have been some difficult times but I just remind myself that I am working for God’s purpose and not man and that keeps me going. I turned down a lucrative offer in a secular job and listened to what God wants from me. I am giving a year to work in the ministry and from there on I intend to focus on launching my business and work on the book I am planning to write. Its not all making sense at the moment but I trust in God and I know He orders my footsteps. My friends and family do not understand why I am working in the ministry right now and they even thought I was going mad when I took three months off from work to seek God’s face….but hey even Jesus’ natural family thought he was going mad in Mark 3:21

God has also totally cut me off from many relationships, only those that I know my destiny is tied to have remained, even some close relationships have died on their own. Some of those friends that I knew had no clue or understood where God wants to take me I had to intentionally cut off even though it was painful. When the eagle is about to be renewed they have to pluck out their own feathers even though it’s a very painful process but they persevere because they want new ones…I want to be renewed so I with the help of the Holy Spirit plucked off feather/relationships that were not building me. Being a socialite this season has been difficult because I have been totally cut off, the only people that have been speaking into my life are those that are my mentors.

Although I know that I have a Pastoral calling I also know that God has called me to be an influential entrepreneur/businesswoman so that I can be a conduit of God’s wealth and blessings and be able to fund the gospel and then of course I am also called to be an inspirational writer, I am just not sure of the order, whether or not I am going to become a lay pastor before becoming a businesswoman and writer I have no clue, All I know is that I am finally in the flow of my destiny!!!!!!!!

God has been weaning me from the dependency on my support systems; He has broken me away from needing the approval of my generation, taken me through controversy until I learn to stand on my own two feet. He has isolated me so that He can integrate me into His divine purpose for my life. I know God has been taking me through loneliness to prove me and now He is releasing me into my destiny….

27 February 2009

I am at that stage where I am holding onto Christ with everything I have.I have reached the end of my resource.God spoke clearly to me and asked me to leave work and give him the last quarter of 2008.I had the most amazing times getting to know Him and bask in His presence.There was also such a grace for provision .He took care of me as I took care of his business.

The plan was to go back to work in January 2009, but God then went on to ask me for January as my First Fruits to Him. I listened and gave Him January and even got offered 2 jobs.Then the delays started…the secular job which I had been told that I had got the job , they were no telling me that they were happy with me but still felt that I should go on a one week trial first in order for them to decide between me and another job applicant.Then the job at church, I had impressed them at the interview but they were failing to get hold of me till they were left with no choice but to find someone else even though they are promising that they still want me to work in the ministry.

Maybe God you have closed the tap on resources in Zimbabwe because you want me to go down South.There is seemingly so much uncertainity about my welfare, I am looking to you God coz I need accommodation/shelter and I need food. I am your responsibility and not anybody else’s and I do not want to be a burden on anyone in these tough times.

Michael Phelps the Olympics swimmer and gold medal record breaker who broke the 1972 gold medal record of 7, said he never set out to win 8 gold metals in 2008 but just set out to do his best.His secret lay in the fact that He practiced every Sunday.This means that as he stands, ready to dive amidst all his competitors , He stands there 52 times more trained then them.

Although I may appear as someone who doesn’t know what they want or where they are going,someone who has no stability, Deep down in my heart I know that I have a firm foundation , I know that God has strengthened and enriched my inner man through the times I have fellowshipped with Him in this season. As I stand here I know I have been placed in my position and have received authority and direction. I am rich!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Things are not what they seem.The current situation may be contradictory to what God said but the fact is that I am favoured.I have stability. Thank you Lord that this is my year of manifestation .