QUALITIES TO LOOK FOR IN A GODLY MAN PART 2

In the intial post I covered Joseph as a model of an ideal godly husband I felt I needed to do a little more expounding on two more biblical models Abraham and Boaz (yes Boaz he's a gud guy)

First is Abraham, faithful Abraham, God’s friend. You know if Sarah had not offered Hagar to him, he most probably would never have impregnated another woman! And he had every means and every opportunity to. He was very wealthy. He could have any woman he wanted. But he practically worshipped the ground on which Sarah walked on, barren or not. When Sarah says jump, he says how high? (Lol!) Sarah says sleep with Hagar, he did. Sarah says Hagar insulted me, Abraham says “slap the insolence out of her (hahahahaha!!)”. This is Hagar who is pregnant with the child he has been waiting for all his life, yet because SARAH was not happy, he told her to treat Hagar anyway she wanted. The bible says he told Sarah – she is your maid, not my wife! Sarah says banish Hagar and her son, at first, he hesitated, then Sarah got God to back her up, he did! He just loved Sarah to bits. Abraham is rock solid faithful and dependable (well except for the time he lied that Sarah was his sister . He had every opportunity to forsake Sarah, especially after fathering Ishmael but he didn’t. He was stuck to her like everlasting super-glue. Oh.. are you still sitting reading this? You have not yet hit the floor and call forth your Abraham wherever he is? You know, most women don’t like their husbands talking with other women. But there are some women who can’t even stand the thought of their husbands being with someone else except them. Don’t worry. God feels you. He will provide you with your very own Abraham who will love you more than anything. Abraham will look at your ninety-year old body and still call you his sweet sixteen.

Next up is Boaz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Rth 2:1 And Naomi had a kinsman of her husband's, a mighty man of wealth, of the family of Elimelech; and his name was Boaz.  Rth 2:3 And she went, and came, and gleaned in the field after the reapers: and her hap was to light on a part of the field belonging unto Boaz, who was of the kindred of Elimelech.  Rth 2:11 And Boaz answered and said unto her, It hath fully been shewed me, all that thou hast done unto thy mother in law since the death of thine husband: and how thou hast left thy father and thy mother, and the land of thy nativity, and art come unto a people which thou knewest not heretofore.  Rth 2:12 The LORD recompense thy work, and a full reward be given thee of the LORD God of Israel, under whose wings thou art come to trust.  Rth 2:13 Then she said, Let me find favour in thy sight, my lord; for that thou hast comforted me, and for that thou hast spoken friendly unto thine handmaid, though I be not like unto one of thine handmaidens.  Rth 2:14 And Boaz said unto her, At mealtime come thou hither, and eat of the bread, and dip thy morsel in the vinegar. And she sat beside the reapers: and he reached her parched corn, and she did eat, and was sufficed, and left.  Rth 2:15 And when she was risen up to glean, Boaz commanded his young men, saying, Let her glean even among the sheaves, and reproach her not:  Rth 2:16 And let fall also some of the handfuls of purpose for her, and leave them, that she may glean them, and rebuke her not. 

What I love about this marriage is how God orchestrated their meeting and brought them together. In the first place, it would have been very awkward for Boaz, who is a very wealthy man, a man of stature and repute in the city to propose to a Moabite widow girl who just came into town (You know the Israelites can be very snobbish about preserving their culture and heritage! Mixed marriages were severely frowned upon). So now, Ruth went scavenging for food (Oh yes..Boaz found her hard at work, bent down in the most undignified position ever, picking up droppings of food from his field. He didn’t see her in a designer suit and heels, make-up all done, everything in place. He found her at work in his fields looking for food and from that minute, the Spirit of God started moving. God showed me a sneak preview of what happened here. Do you remember how Adam started blessing Eve the moment he set eyes on her? Come on now! That was exactly what happened when Boaz set his eyes on Ruth. If you read from Ruth 2: 8-13, oh..the guy prayed and blessed Ruth as if he was the chief priest himself! Secondly, Boaz happened to be a kinsman to Elimelech, so by law, he is actually doing a good deed and preserving the seed of the dead by marrying Ruth. End of story! The story of Boaz and Ruth has a very important significance especially for women who have moved to trust God in one way or the other. By so doing, they honoured God and God will surely move and honour them in a biggest way possible! Ruth trusted in a God that seemed to have abandoned her mother-in-law. She left her familiar surroundings and followed her mother-in-law to unfamiliar terrain. The minute she told her mother-in-law in Ruth1: 16 – 17 “ Entreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God: Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried: the LORD do so to me, and more also, if ought but death part thee and me"; God was stirred up and He went ahead of her and prepared a place for her in Boaz’s home. All she went out to look for was food for herself and her mother-in-law. She came back married to probably the wealthiest man in town! (OK OK..it didn’t exactly happen that fast, but you get my drift

Now just to sober up a bit .From the way I have analysed the story of Ruth and Boaz , modern day women mistake the fact that Ruth went to lie at Boaz's feet for stepping up to a guy and asking him out and thats not it. Naomi advised Ruth to do what she did because Boaz had already shown special interest in Ruth right from day one!!!! From the moment Boaz sets his eyes on Ruth he already begin to enquire "Whose damsel is this?" and I mean in his first conversation he is blessing Ruth as though he was the Chief Priest himself. He further on offers to provide food for Ruth, protection from young men in the fields and even goes a step further to instruct his men to drop "handfuls of purpose" for her to glean thats too much kindness from a stranger if you ask me that in itself is a clear sign that Boaz made the first move!!!!A modern day scenario would be a Brother shows interests in a girl, makes a few enquiries, asks for her number, initiates conversations with her on chat, watsapp and asks too spend time with her, and even shares some personal stuff about himself , in thats case a modern day sister can then tactfully play Ruth and ask the brother what his intentions are is he is dragging his feet and yet at the same time hogging hertime and attention.

So sisters who are getting ready to land a Boaz, heed Naomi’s advice ‘Wash and perfume yourself. Pimp yourself up and get a makeover or something and change your look and then go to the threshing floor where Boaz lies. The threshing floor becomes symbolic of a place where we deal with our flesh or sinful nature. It is a place where the chaff gets separated from the wheat. It is here we pray and cry out to the Lord for help or where we repent and determine to get victory over the sinful nature…and so that means the place of prayer is where Boaz is so lets get fasting and praying!!!!.And remember, we are not to go out looking for him ourselves physically. Our duty here is search the scriptures diligently, make a list, tender it before God and leave the rest up to Him. He will position us in such a way that it will be a perfect work....I await to hear testimonies from you sisters coz I see plenty wedding testimonies....

QUALITIES TO LOOK FOR IN A GODLY MAN- PART 1

Hello Single ladies I just thought I'd share something based on a teaching I came across a couple years back...I have personalised it and also added a bit of my own stuff but I pray that y'all be blessed.

I am believing God for a man like Mary’s husband – Joseph who the bible calls a just man. In those days in Israel, under the Mosaic Law, if a girl was found pregnant and was not married, she would be stoned to death and her family would be put to shame. So when Joseph found out Mary was pregnant, he was supposed to run screaming to the priests. But he just decided within himself to break off their engagement quietly so no one would find out. As he was contemplating the best way he would do this, God’s angel spoke to Him in a dream and told him 'do not be afraid to take Mary to be your wife, what she is carrying was conceived of the Holy Spirit'. Joseph obeyed God and offered love and kindness to Mary without thinking twice! He proved to be a man of men, strong and dependable. He stood as a father, brother, caregiver and a husband for both Mary and her unborn child.

Looking at Joseph with new eyes, I have a witness in my spirit that every single woman who has an issue she wants/ needs covering for should have Joseph listed at the very top of her list not a Tall,Dark, Rich and Handsome. Every woman who has a past, or an issue and needs a husband-defender. Because Joseph will listen to God’s voice and protect me. Joseph will stay with me and take me to my place of birthing of God's purpose (my bethlehem)and help deliver Jesus who he did not father and give what I have a birthed a name and identity. Joseph will wait till I have fulfilled God’s will (giving birth to Jesus) before asking for his own needs to be met.My prayer night and day is " Lord, like you found Joseph for Mary, who stood by her and protected her from untimely death and covered her up, I ask and trust that you will also provide a Joseph for me as well". Joseph is kind, gentle; strong and dependable. He is a provider and he is matured to a very high degree. Joseph has got a very healthy dose of self-control. According to bible history in Matthew, he did not touch Mary sexually until she had weaned Jesus

So dear sister, whip out your bible and go looking for a husband between those pages. Who says you can’t find a husband in the bible? Every book of the bible must have one. If you want a King, pick your choice from David, Solomon, King Ahasuerus (Esther’s husband). If you want a wise man, you can have your pick from King Solomon, Daniel, Paul, Abraham, Jacob. If you want a father, brother, friend and husband all-in-one, pick Joseph. If you want your husband to pant after your love, pick from Abraham and Jacob. If you want a strong man, Joshua and Caleb. The list is exhaustive. You can make it as long as you want. Start from Genesis down to Revelations. Ask the Holy Spirit to help as you search the scriptures regarding this very important part of your life.

And remember, we are not to go out looking for him ourselves physically. Our duty here is search the scriptures diligently, make a list, tender it before God and leave the rest up to Him. He will position us in such a way that it will be a perfect work. Look at what He did for Ruth..my goodness! She wasn’t dressed to impress or anything, she was just going about her own business, looking for what to eat.

The Grace on my life....

But by the grace of God I am what I am- 

1 Corinthians 15:10

From as far as I can remember even as a little girl the grace of God has always been on my life in such a distinct way. It has been so distinct that it resulted in me being misunderstood and rejected by family and friends and left me apologetic for its presence in my life. By the end of my first term of first grade I had taught myself to read and I  read an entire high school novel and narrated the whole story in the novel to my parents who were shocked at my abilities. By second grade I was reading newspapers with my dad and he liked to move around with me showing off that his 7 year old could read a newspaper. By the time I was in third grade teachers marvelled at my reading abilities.I still have my report cards which say that at the age of 8 I actually read like a 13 year old! I was top of the class; on the few occasions I came second  was inconsolable. I excelled in swimming, hockey and athletics and drama and arts. My dad would not stop talking about my achievements and blatantly expressed his preference for me over my siblings. Even when my other siblings did well according to their abilities he would not really make noise about it as he did for me his 'genious' as he called me. By the time I was in 4th grade I knew that in 7th grade I was going to be appointed headgirl and I told my parents. Truly 3 years later I was appointed headgirl as I had predicted in my presumption and arrogance .

A divine moment with Dr. Juanita Bynum and myself 

The definition of grace has been summed up by bible scholars to be 'unmerited favour' this is whereby things that you haven't earned happen and grace is also that which takes you to places you know that you do not qualify to be. Grace is taken from the Greek word Charis. Grace is what God bestows on a person in spite of their deeds, background or qualifications.And Grace is what has always set me apart from my siblings and friends. Grace is what caused my dad's nephew the late Vice-President of Zimbabwe Joseph Msika to take me on on a day trip in the helicopter with other cabinet members. I was in high school then and he called my dad to say he wanted to take his mum (me) along with him to see him at work. I have sat and mixed with high profile politicians; even eaten what they ate as well and I was only 15 or 16 I think. I have rode in the presidential motorcade with the same late Vice President  and that has also caused jealousy even among grown up relatives who wanted the same honour. What baffled me then is that when I rode in the Presidential motorcade I was with my other cousin but it seems it was  just me that these relatives did not want to see in the motorcade.Some even insinuated that I would ask him to single me out but because of the grace on my life I didn't have to try hard because my son Joseph Msika loved me and respected me as his maternal aunt. I even became apologetic and would go and sit in the background at his family functions to avoid the outrage but he would still single me out and take me to the high table and shout at them saying "why are you seating her with the commoners when she is my mother." When I went on the trip I had all the other ministers calling me "Amai" as well and being respectful to me because of who had brought me there, that's what the Grace of God does. I have been privileged to sit and talk to some of the national heroes of this great country because of this Grace. 

Grace is what happened last year when a 31 year old girlfriend of mine made into the Zimbabwean government as the youngest Deputy minister and she was invited to be a Guest of Honour at our Old School and asked me to come with her. Grace is the fact that because I attended the function with her I had access to the same privileges with her . Grace is the fact that in her speech she asked me and our other friends to stand as she introduced us and explained the history of  our friendship. I didn't ask her to introduce me neither did I ask to be a VIP it was Grace that got me there. 

When there is a grace on your life even in your winter seasons God will raise mere strangers to provide for you. I have attended a prayer meeting looking so good and then been approached by an elderly lady that she wants to bless me with shoes and gotten the shoes. I have also sat in the front row at a church meeting and the person delivering the Offering message  has also given me a pair of shoes right in front of the whole meeting. When the Grace of God is on your life even when you have no money in your bag God will cause believers to go and empty their wardrobes and dress you like a queen without you having to ask them. It has happened to me unexpectedly so many times that people would have been shocked to hear that the well dressed Taffy has no coin to her name!

When there is a grace on your life ordinary people will not see it but anointed men and women will see it and acknowledge it blatantly. On many occasions I have been singled out by someone who is ministering and received powerful prophecies on my life even when my life has appeared to be contrary to the prophecy. I have had direct access to some phenomenal men and women of God who have spoken into my life, with some taking me under their wings; leaving many to marvel how on earth I have such access but all I can say is its nothing to do with me , its the Grace.

Because of the Grace I joined a mega-church where it was a bit difficult to be visible but in 3 months I got an award at the Young Adults Ministry for my writing! The award blew me away and I knew it wasn't  for me so I gave it as seed to the Women's Ministry Head who was mentoring me and she prayed a blessing on me and double portion of her anointing. As a result of that award which I gave away to that Pastor , my ministry to women has been amplified. A friend asked me to join her and few ladies on the Facebook platform where they have a Proverbs 31 group with a membership of 25 751 members from all over the world and when I post the responses and feedback I get from the ladies is overwhelming but I know that it is not because of me its the Grace so I just say " Not to us LORD, not to us but to your name be the glory."Psalm 115:1

Although I know that the favour on my life has nothing to do with me or my works but the blood of Jesus I am no longer apologetic- I am what I am by the Grace of God period. I have learnt that it is not humility to downgrade and not acknowledge who God has made you to be, neither is it humility to not to accept compliments.  As C.S. Lewis said and I quote "True humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less"

What women expect from men in general (My thoughts)

Contrary to what most men believe women are not very complicated.While some particulars may vary from woman to woman, most things women expect from men are virtually universal. We learn how men in relationship ought to treat women from our fathers, favourite uncles, neighbours and Pastors and not forgetting Enid Blyton's fairytales and Hollywood, Bollywood, Nollywood and all these other woods movies.

More than anything the man in the relationship is a man who know his purpose and vision and doing something about it.While most women aren't necessarily looking to marry a millionaire, she does want to know that you have a good work ethic and that you have at least some ambition to improve yourself. Whether it's taking a class to advance your career or reading books that will improve your mind, women love men who aren't content to just always sit in front of the tube or hang with their friends. They want a man who actually shows a desire to improve his life and possibly their life together. The man must be able to articulate his vision clearly even before it has materialised and he openly and willingly shares his dream with the woman in the relationship even if she is not directly involved. She is his best ally and cheerleader and even if she is not directly involved she knows the dream and does what she can to support , whether its baking a cake for the team who is running with her man's vision or offering to arrange flowers for the office reception. So the man in the relationship must have a vision and be willing to include the woman he is with. Share your dreams with us and we'll pray for you, encourage you when you are down and we'll stand with you when all else fails

One area where time and time again man fail in relationships and this is in the area of passivity and this can tracked down to Adam in the bible. Women want men who will not only provide for them but protect them and speak for them. The man in a relationship has an obligation to defend his woman to his mother, his sister, his friends and even hers too. It hurts us and devastates us when men remain silent when we are in a situation . This does not mean that we expect you to always come to our rescue but we do want to be assured that if we need your help and support you will be there.

Another often neglected but very important area neglected by man in relationships is praying together with you partner. There is an adage that says "a family that prays together stays together ", it is so with relationships. Share your faith and be your partner's encouragement and spiritual covering. The man in a relationship must have dealt or be willing to deal with his childhood wounds so that there is harmony in his relationship.

Every man in a relationship must be comfortable with showing affection and attention to his partner.Speaking of affection, most women adore sudden public displays. We're not talking about mauling her in a supermarket, but giving her a warm, affectionate kiss on the cheek or lips, telling her you love her (once you've reached that stage of your relationship) once in a while, or holding her hand as you walk down the street. These are all loving acts that when done in public will usually be reciprocated ten-fold in private by her if you are married.

Women expect the man in the relationship to open doors, pull out our chairs and treat us us with royalty we expect you to provide, protect us, pray for us and love us as we are.We expect the man in the relationship to take charge without taking over or being bossy ..we expect the man in the relationship to listen to us when we want to vent .You see, it's not the grand gestures that most women want. It's the little things that tell her that she's chosen a great guy. Don’t believe what you see in TV sitcoms and magazine advertisements, telling you that you need to be tall, dark and handsome to be what a woman wants. It’s just not true. Women want you to be the the man for THEM, that is what they fall in love with.

Celebrating My Father- Fanwell James Gotora 9 June 1936- 4 May 2005

Every  4th of May and Father's day  I celebrate a life well lived as I pay tribute to my hero, my superman and the man who I called Father. Fanwell James Gotora was born on the 9th of June in 1936 to “Mhasvi James Kachedzi Gotora and Susan Muswewembudzi Zowa in the Village of Nyariri Gotora in a pole –dagga hut” as I accurately quote from one of his journals. He was the oldest child in a family of 5 boys and 1 girl who named me Lillian after herself when I was born. Dad also wrote in his journal that he did have another sister who only lived for 8 months.
Although my dad was a very bright student he only went as far as Standard 6 which is the equivalent of ZJC or form 2 and immediately attended Chibero Agricultural College because he had to send his 5 other siblings to school. Dad would later excel as farm assistant (that’s what they called them in colonial Rhodesia to a Farm Manager in the Zimbabwe Era. He was sought after and head hunted by commercial farmers because of his hard work and expertise. Dad was so passionate about farming he even consulted for free!!! 


Another great passion my dad had was politics. He collected books on different political subjects, macro-economics and personal biographies of world leaders and enjoyed political debates with me and other likeminded people. Dad was generally knowledgeable on many subjects and even though he was not so well educated he attracted highly educated friends, His best friend was Barclays Bank First Street branch Manager and they really got on well and clicked on all levels. I believe my love for reading was inherited from him and even the writing part because he wrote about the accounts of his life in many journals which I was reading over and over again today.


Although dad spend his working week in shorts and getting around the farm on a motor bike , Dad was a flamboyant man who loved to dress up in designer suits, remember how my mum and my young brother struggled to choose the suit that we were going to bury him in because the man had a great collection!!!Dad also enjoyed dining at nice places with his family, and even though it was new to him he quickly learned the importance and attended important sports and games and school activities that my brother and I took part in. 


A quality that my dad will always be remembered for is my dad’s generosity, because he had had to drop out of school, dad was very sympathetic to other people being denied the opportunity to go to school so he sent some of his brothers’ children, cousins’ children to school and assisted many people. He sponsored burials and bought groceries at many funerals and always stood by his family and extended family actually in his eyes there was no such thing as extended family, family was just family to him. My dad also celebrated people and their successes, He would panic when it was my birthday because he always celebrated me and was an extravagant giver. On my 21st he couldn’t find a key so he bought me a designer silver watch instead. When his nephew the late former Vice President Joseph Msika first became a senior cabinet minister Dad was over the moon and mobilized people to contribute but he footed most of the bill and had a cow slaughtered for a party to celebrate Joseph Msika’s success at the village. Even though none of my dad’s children had a white wedding in his lifetime and only 1 graduated with a degree my dad never stopped celebrating other people’s children who excelled in that area, he even organized parties for many of then. I remember when I was teenager I took him to task about certain people he had helped and who had never bothered to thank him or acknowledged him and his gentle reply was that not up to them to thank me or repay me that’s up to God.


Another quality about my dad that I will always remember is he LOVED without reservation. He had many tetes (paternal aunts) and he loved their children- all his nephews and nieces from the Mandikis, Zambes,Dakas, Msikas, Mudarikis, Midzis, and many more and they equally loved him back. In our culture an uncle from the maternal side is equated to one’s mothers and so these nephews and nieces, most who were older than my charming dad doted on their Sekuru Fanwell and submitted to him.  If he summoned them to the farm they would drive from Harare or wherever they were to come and hear what he needed even if he wanted to send them on an errand.