What women expect from men in general (My thoughts)
Contrary to what most men believe women are not very complicated.While some particulars may vary from woman to woman, most things women expect from men are virtually universal. We learn how men in relationship ought to treat women from our fathers, favourite uncles, neighbours and Pastors and not forgetting Enid Blyton's fairytales and Hollywood, Bollywood, Nollywood and all these other woods movies.
More than anything the man in the relationship is a man who know his purpose and vision and doing something about it.While most women aren't necessarily looking to marry a millionaire, she does want to know that you have a good work ethic and that you have at least some ambition to improve yourself. Whether it's taking a class to advance your career or reading books that will improve your mind, women love men who aren't content to just always sit in front of the tube or hang with their friends. They want a man who actually shows a desire to improve his life and possibly their life together. The man must be able to articulate his vision clearly even before it has materialised and he openly and willingly shares his dream with the woman in the relationship even if she is not directly involved. She is his best ally and cheerleader and even if she is not directly involved she knows the dream and does what she can to support , whether its baking a cake for the team who is running with her man's vision or offering to arrange flowers for the office reception. So the man in the relationship must have a vision and be willing to include the woman he is with. Share your dreams with us and we'll pray for you, encourage you when you are down and we'll stand with you when all else fails
One area where time and time again man fail in relationships and this is in the area of passivity and this can tracked down to Adam in the bible. Women want men who will not only provide for them but protect them and speak for them. The man in a relationship has an obligation to defend his woman to his mother, his sister, his friends and even hers too. It hurts us and devastates us when men remain silent when we are in a situation . This does not mean that we expect you to always come to our rescue but we do want to be assured that if we need your help and support you will be there.
Another often neglected but very important area neglected by man in relationships is praying together with you partner. There is an adage that says "a family that prays together stays together ", it is so with relationships. Share your faith and be your partner's encouragement and spiritual covering. The man in a relationship must have dealt or be willing to deal with his childhood wounds so that there is harmony in his relationship.
Every man in a relationship must be comfortable with showing affection and attention to his partner.Speaking of affection, most women adore sudden public displays. We're not talking about mauling her in a supermarket, but giving her a warm, affectionate kiss on the cheek or lips, telling her you love her (once you've reached that stage of your relationship) once in a while, or holding her hand as you walk down the street. These are all loving acts that when done in public will usually be reciprocated ten-fold in private by her if you are married.
Women expect the man in the relationship to open doors, pull out our chairs and treat us us with royalty we expect you to provide, protect us, pray for us and love us as we are.We expect the man in the relationship to take charge without taking over or being bossy ..we expect the man in the relationship to listen to us when we want to vent .You see, it's not the grand gestures that most women want. It's the little things that tell her that she's chosen a great guy. Don’t believe what you see in TV sitcoms and magazine advertisements, telling you that you need to be tall, dark and handsome to be what a woman wants. It’s just not true. Women want you to be the the man for THEM, that is what they fall in love with.
More than anything the man in the relationship is a man who know his purpose and vision and doing something about it.While most women aren't necessarily looking to marry a millionaire, she does want to know that you have a good work ethic and that you have at least some ambition to improve yourself. Whether it's taking a class to advance your career or reading books that will improve your mind, women love men who aren't content to just always sit in front of the tube or hang with their friends. They want a man who actually shows a desire to improve his life and possibly their life together. The man must be able to articulate his vision clearly even before it has materialised and he openly and willingly shares his dream with the woman in the relationship even if she is not directly involved. She is his best ally and cheerleader and even if she is not directly involved she knows the dream and does what she can to support , whether its baking a cake for the team who is running with her man's vision or offering to arrange flowers for the office reception. So the man in the relationship must have a vision and be willing to include the woman he is with. Share your dreams with us and we'll pray for you, encourage you when you are down and we'll stand with you when all else fails
One area where time and time again man fail in relationships and this is in the area of passivity and this can tracked down to Adam in the bible. Women want men who will not only provide for them but protect them and speak for them. The man in a relationship has an obligation to defend his woman to his mother, his sister, his friends and even hers too. It hurts us and devastates us when men remain silent when we are in a situation . This does not mean that we expect you to always come to our rescue but we do want to be assured that if we need your help and support you will be there.
Another often neglected but very important area neglected by man in relationships is praying together with you partner. There is an adage that says "a family that prays together stays together ", it is so with relationships. Share your faith and be your partner's encouragement and spiritual covering. The man in a relationship must have dealt or be willing to deal with his childhood wounds so that there is harmony in his relationship.
Every man in a relationship must be comfortable with showing affection and attention to his partner.Speaking of affection, most women adore sudden public displays. We're not talking about mauling her in a supermarket, but giving her a warm, affectionate kiss on the cheek or lips, telling her you love her (once you've reached that stage of your relationship) once in a while, or holding her hand as you walk down the street. These are all loving acts that when done in public will usually be reciprocated ten-fold in private by her if you are married.
Women expect the man in the relationship to open doors, pull out our chairs and treat us us with royalty we expect you to provide, protect us, pray for us and love us as we are.We expect the man in the relationship to take charge without taking over or being bossy ..we expect the man in the relationship to listen to us when we want to vent .You see, it's not the grand gestures that most women want. It's the little things that tell her that she's chosen a great guy. Don’t believe what you see in TV sitcoms and magazine advertisements, telling you that you need to be tall, dark and handsome to be what a woman wants. It’s just not true. Women want you to be the the man for THEM, that is what they fall in love with.
posted by Taffy L.Gotora @ June 18, 2014
3 Comments:
At 19 June 2014 at 09:18 ,
Zion Hope Mukisa (Apostle) said...
WOW! This is well written and quit insightful. Did you talk to some other women, that is, apart from me?? You covered a lot of what we women secretly wish for in our relationships but mostly in THE RELATIONSHIP with the man of our dreams!
Thank you for this piece. GOD BLESS YOU.
At 1 November 2014 at 04:40 ,
Anonymous said...
I like this my sister, my wife showed me this post on Facebook. I suspect she wanted to point out where i'm lacking kkkk. thanks
W Gotora.
At 1 November 2014 at 05:24 ,
Anonymous said...
After reading this post, ive opened my eyes to some of the issues i need to apply more effort in my marriage. My wife gave me a lot of "stick" for not adhering with some of the virtues written on your post. However as my wife and i discussed i thought there were a few things that women may need to know about men, hence i quickly wrote my piece in direct response to yours (see below). I understand you will use your discretion whether to post my reply or not. Thanks.
My response:-
Contrary to what most women believe men are not dogs but are actually caring and sensitive human beings. Men have learnt how women in relationships ought to treat their men from mothers, aunties, neighbours and the vast majority of 1st ladies from different countries. Our mothers and 1st ladies had one thing in common, anything and everything they did was for the success of their husbands.
More than anything the woman in a relationship is a woman who knows her purpose, shares her man’s vision and is supportive of it. Most men aren’t looking for a display or trophy partner, he wants to know that his woman has a good work ethic, embraces his ideological direction and offers constructive support. Women should stop trying to look like catwalk or glamour models to be noticed, however appropriate dress sense is a must. Most women especially the married ones tend to let their guard down. A woman has to be visually appealing to her man, hence putting on excess weight and looking scruffy/ dirty is a definite turn off.
For any relationship to work there has to be complete trust between the two involved. The woman needs to trust her man enough to let him get on with his work without becoming too inquisitive. The more inquisitive she is the less information he will divulge. Another issue is that women should desist from being overtly or covertly pushy on issues pertaining to her man’s decision making, give your man his “space” to think and make a decision without interfering and he will appreciate you even more.
One area where women almost always fail in relationships is the apparent sense of entitlement. Many women believe they are entitled to decide among other things:- when to have a baby or how many children to have (without partners consent), being included in her man’s decision making capacity or become moody and antisocial whenever it suits them. Men are more appreciative of women who don’t use unreasonable methods to get/ achieve what they want. A good woman will support her man by offering him advice/opinion in private and then stepping back to let him make a decision. A good woman also shows her support by speaking highly of her man’s achievements either publicly of just chatting with her friends. A man doesn’t always need advice but he’s more assured knowing that he can turn to his supportive woman when he requires counsel.
Praying together is definitely something a man and his woman must do together from time to time. We all have biological families in which we were members when growing up, however men appreciate women who (when married) recognise that they are joining a new family and quickly assimilate to customs and values of her new family.
A man likes to try out new intimate positions in the bedroom and would appreciate it if his woman stop saying statements like “I’m not a whore” whenever he initiates a new position. The more his woman mutually takes part trying new things, the more public displays of affection they are likely to receive outdoors.
Men expect their women to love, honour and respect them. Men expect their women to stop nagging, be submissive, not put your man down by grandstanding and lastly to know how to cook. It may sound condescending, but a woman who knows how to cook is virtually guaranteed that her man will stick with her. It’s these little things that make a guy feel like he’s the luckiest man in the world and he will feel he chose the right woman.
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