HE MAKES ALL THINGS NEW PART TWO

When it suddenly dawned on me that I could be with child, I had missed my period and was suffering from severe headaches. I gathered up the courage to buy a pregnancy test kit. Even though I had taken the morning after pill after conception. I felt like I was pregnant. I resolved to contact the would be father of my child and he at first seemed happy and even casually joked about it. After I had taken the test however I told him the good news and was surprised to hear him ask me what the way forward was. I told him that abortion was not an option and his answer was that he was not in a good financial position so abortion was the only solution!!! We exchanged words and parted ways and he told me point blank that I was on my own. He would later on continue to send me text messages demanding that I abort because I would not make a competent mother and would not stop texting me.I realise it was a tactic to put me under pressure so that I could give in and abort or at least miscarry.



The realisation that I was going to be on my own started to sink in when I went for my first appointment and for the ultrasound alone without anyone to share the joy with. The stress was really getting to me. I was losing my temper at work and just not in a good place. It was after one outburst at a senior member of staff in the ministry where I was volunteering that God began to disarm me so that He could embrace me and tell me that it was well.. My boss and the senior member of staff sat me down and expressed that my outburst at my superior was so out of my character and that when it occurred it did not infuriate them but actually made them realise that I was going through something. I broke down and told them my predicament, that I was pregnant and alone and now trying to find a job in the corporate sector. My boss and this superior were so supportive and yet I was at a place where I was struggling to receive love. I guess deep down I felt like I didn’t deserve the support and love.
I then set about trying to rectify my mistake and met with my pastors and apologised to them. I apologised to the people who had poured themselves out into me and invested time in helping me grown in Christ.



I thought of the opportunities that had been availed to me to have fellowship with some phenomenal men and women, many of whom had spoken into my life. I thought of people like my best friend Saru not only believed in me as a friend but even as a woman of God. When I thought of all the people who had rooted for me I felt like I had really let many down, some even broke down in front of me when I told them the news. One sister in Christ told me that she cried for days.
I thought of the little girls who used to come and hug me after church and tell me that they loved it when I did announcements in church and how they also wanted to be like me. I thought of the people I had led to Christ and many whose destinies I had wrestled for and felt so bad. I wondered what people would say, and it even made me more angry that this pregnancy issue was going to vindicate the so called brother-in –Christ who had not only led me on and later on rejected me but had ruined my reputation and had stripped me of the little self esteem that I had left. I thought of the prophetic words that had been spoken into my life and how my situation was contrary to what God had said.



I then announced my intention to leave the ministry job so that I could start looking for a job in the corporate sector. I was determined to get a job as soon as possible so that I could start preparing for my baby. But little did I know what lay ahead. I was to spend the entire nine month alone and jobless. After leaving the job at the ministry I could no longer even afford to go to church and yet I craved fellowship but no one followed up on me. I do not know why people from the church that I served so faithfully never followed up on me but I do understand that God wanted to isolate me so that I could be alone with Him. The fact that my parents were both dead made the pregnancy issue even more difficult but I soldiered on though they were times I really felt I could not go on and up to know I don’t know what kept me going but GRACE .I was still standing but I was broken, I was still standing and I was crying myself to sleep at night, I was standing but I was empty and everything around me was dead all except for the life I was carrying... I could not even afford a meal and could not even afford to pay for my accommodation but only grace kept me going. .. God would raise up a few people who would take me in and provide for me during my pregnancy. These people did the best they could to make sure that I was okay. Some made huge financial sacrifices to assist me and my prayer is that God would remember their sacrifice....I started to attend a small church where the young Pastor and his wife were so gracious and accommodating, they were so supportive and provided a safe place to heal. God had begun to turn the valley of trouble I was in (Achor Valley) into a door of hope!!!He had begun to pick me up from the ashes and rubbles of my dreams and begun to make all things new.

Hos 2:14 Therefore, behold, I will allure her, and bring her into the wilderness, and speak comfortably unto her.
Hos 2:15 And I will give her her vineyards from thence, and the valley of Achor for a door of hope: and she shall sing there, as in the days of her youth, and as in the day when she came up out of the land of Egypt