Echoes of a once wounded but now restored heart...

“God rewrote the text of my life when I opened the book of my heart to His eyes.” —Psalm 18:24 (The Message Bible) An account of my life events.... Echoes from my heart to the very heart of God....

Monday, June 09, 2008

Bitter- Sweet Process Part 2

The past weekend was bittersweet, The guy I like …Archie came to see me at work and he asked me to print out his resume. It wasn’t well formatted so I volunteered to retype it and I must say I did a pretty good job and managed to put into words what He had failed to put across. Archie is an Actuary ..He graduated from the University Of Waterloo, Canada with an Honours degree in Mathematics in Acturial Science and Statistics so I guess he’s just good at balancing figures and sums and doesn’t know much about writing. He was very happy with the resume I typed for him and He was so happy to see me… He is always smiling and vibrant and cheerful…the other ladies I share an office with have all fallen in love with his smile. As I was going through his resume, my heart leapt …our hearts beat for the same causes. He has a passions for politics and macro-economic development and is interested in stock markets and its just what I like. I have a passion for women’s ministry and He has a passion for Men’s ministry. Our eyes met when I was walking him out of my office…I just know it…He is the one. It doesn’t make sense right now and I know I have to be patient but there is a quiet confidence and peace in my heart about this….but it hasn’t come easy I had to come to that place of relinquishment and give up my dream of being with him to God… I still have to continue to relate to him in purity like a brother till he approaches me and I am not going to try and iniate or help him..He will seek me out and guess that’s my first test of submission…letting him lead and direct our relationship….

My housemate pulled a fast one on me and I felt hurt. She invited our ex housemate over to the house and only told me 5 minutes before they got to the house with another couple. I have forgiven NN my ex housemate but I still feel awkward that He used me and rejected me and chose EM, The realization that he used me to get EM’s attention hurt me and left me dejected. I came to that place where I forgave him but I supposed I never expected EM to start dating him right away after having seen how cruelly he treated me. When Em and NN came , I went to my room and tried to get someone to pick me up becoz I wanted to go to the All Night Prayer Virgil but I was unsuccessful. I tried to sleep but EM and company made so much noise, I felt as though they didn’t care about me and wanted to spite me. So I tried to run from this situation instead of facing it. The next day NN was still there so I went over to my friend’s house. I then realized that I have to take my ground and be strong and courageous. I forgave EM and NN, and I am about to be blessed with a good man who respects me, edifies me and shows me my worth, I cant let the enermy continue to taunt me with the EM-NN shenanigan. I forgave, I released and I am a whole person now. God grant me the serenity and grace to bear this uncomfortable situation.

Otherwise, I am thankful that God has my heart in His hands….

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