Funeral Blues

This poem was read out at the funeral in the movie Four Weddings and A Funeral and I dedicate to a cousin that I love and hold dearly to my heart Joseph Msika Junior. Joe lost his dad on Friday the 20th of June 2008. Joe's dad was a medical doctor and he had just attended to two patients when he just collapsed and died..in the line of duty!!!! When I got to the hospital where BaJoe worked, they had not yet put away his body. My heart broke when I watched them remove his watch and valuables and hand over the rest of his belongings over to Joe ...I wept. Joe's dad loved him and Joe loved him too but his biggest regret right now is that he never got to say it to his dad's face that he loved him even though he did. I choose to believe that he knew that Joe and his other children loved him

Rest in Cousin Wilfred aka BaJoe or Blaz the Good Doc Willy. Your son Joe and the entire family will miss you.

Funeral Blues
By W.H.Auden


Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now; put out every one:
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the woods:
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

Making peace with my tears...sob,sob,sob..

“No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader. No surprise for the writer, no surprise for the reader.” ~Robert Frost

I cry easily and often, Happy tears, sad tears, over-the-top tears…I am crier and can now say that I am glad I am. I cry at weddings, I cry when my friends give me gifts as well, I cry when someone makes good speech and I even cry when I am reading a sad book. Out of sheer joy, I cry at church more than anywhere else. When I hear a wondrous truth spoken or a glorious song lifted in praise, when I see a new believer step forward or an old saint read the Scriptures, I'm so overwhelmed with God's presence that tears flow down my cheeks. . I wail loudly and groan in the intercession rooms and then I feel a little awkward afterwards. But now I have finally come to that place where I have made peace with my non-stop tears.
I have a gift of compassion/Mercy gift, I want more than anything to help hurting people in my church who go to the altar for prayer. But the minute I hear their stories, I start weeping, and it would embarrass me until I came across an article that clarified that my teary problem was not an issue but a ministry of tears.
When you weep right along with people, your tears help keep them from feeling foolish. The Bible tells us to 'mourn with those who mourn' (Romans 12:15), and to 'comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God' (2 Corinthians 1:4)…so my tears and your tears help.
I laughed when I came across this verse in the book of Jeremiah 9:17-18
17 This is what the LORD Almighty says: "Consider now! Call for the wailing women to come; send for the most skillful of them.
18 Let them come quickly and wail over us till our eyes overflow with tears and water streams from our eyelids.
After reading the verse above I realized that my crying resume would have qualified me to be among the most skillful of the wailing women so I smiled and made peace with myself.
God can use anything we surrender to him. Laughter and tears. Joys and sorrows. Victories and mistakes. Strengths and weaknesses. We minister to others best when we offer our true selves—"as is"—not waiting until we've cleaned up our act or dried up our tears, but right now, leaks and all.
I remember praying for someone who had been through a painful childhood and been abused, she gave her life to the Lord and she wept and I wept buckets and couldn’t utter any more words as I prayed with her and loved her. And you know what? She knew my heart. And God knew my heart.
Psalm 126:5
They that sow in tears shall reap in joy. KJV
Psalm 56:8
Thou tellest my wanderings: put thou my tears into thy bottle: are they not in thy book? KJV

Bitter- Sweet Process Part 2

The past weekend was bittersweet, The guy I like …Archie came to see me at work and he asked me to print out his resume. It wasn’t well formatted so I volunteered to retype it and I must say I did a pretty good job and managed to put into words what He had failed to put across. Archie is an Actuary ..He graduated from the University Of Waterloo, Canada with an Honours degree in Mathematics in Acturial Science and Statistics so I guess he’s just good at balancing figures and sums and doesn’t know much about writing. He was very happy with the resume I typed for him and He was so happy to see me… He is always smiling and vibrant and cheerful…the other ladies I share an office with have all fallen in love with his smile. As I was going through his resume, my heart leapt …our hearts beat for the same causes. He has a passions for politics and macro-economic development and is interested in stock markets and its just what I like. I have a passion for women’s ministry and He has a passion for Men’s ministry. Our eyes met when I was walking him out of my office…I just know it…He is the one. It doesn’t make sense right now and I know I have to be patient but there is a quiet confidence and peace in my heart about this….but it hasn’t come easy I had to come to that place of relinquishment and give up my dream of being with him to God… I still have to continue to relate to him in purity like a brother till he approaches me and I am not going to try and iniate or help him..He will seek me out and guess that’s my first test of submission…letting him lead and direct our relationship….

My housemate pulled a fast one on me and I felt hurt. She invited our ex housemate over to the house and only told me 5 minutes before they got to the house with another couple. I have forgiven NN my ex housemate but I still feel awkward that He used me and rejected me and chose EM, The realization that he used me to get EM’s attention hurt me and left me dejected. I came to that place where I forgave him but I supposed I never expected EM to start dating him right away after having seen how cruelly he treated me. When Em and NN came , I went to my room and tried to get someone to pick me up becoz I wanted to go to the All Night Prayer Virgil but I was unsuccessful. I tried to sleep but EM and company made so much noise, I felt as though they didn’t care about me and wanted to spite me. So I tried to run from this situation instead of facing it. The next day NN was still there so I went over to my friend’s house. I then realized that I have to take my ground and be strong and courageous. I forgave EM and NN, and I am about to be blessed with a good man who respects me, edifies me and shows me my worth, I cant let the enermy continue to taunt me with the EM-NN shenanigan. I forgave, I released and I am a whole person now. God grant me the serenity and grace to bear this uncomfortable situation.

Otherwise, I am thankful that God has my heart in His hands….

Taffy is established....

I can now safely say that I am now firmly established in God. I have not been serving in any ministry at church or online ever since I ran the online single's ministry 3 years ago since then but now I know that the seed of calling had to die in order to produce growth and fruit..and I know God will do more through me and in me. My roots hav now grown even deeper and deeper into the love of God and whatever the devil is gonna try to throw at me will just shake me but not move me.

My prayer life is on another level.Gone are the days I would watch the clock during prayer time because I wasn't comfortable being alone with God, now I look forward to being alone and can pray in tongues for 2-3 hours without realizing how time has gone

I can't even wait to have children coz I know that the fruit of my womb is blessed and they will be taught by the Lord , they will not have to fight the battles that i have had to fight being a 1st generation christian coz they are children of promise, that just gets me so excited!!!! As for the father of these children I am very certain that he is round the corner I just have to keep gleaning and serving the Lord, Boaz will come ...and he will not rest till the matter is settled.

I came across this prophecy and it blessed me and I declare it over my life
"I sense a "Ruth and Boaz" anointing coming upon single men and women. A word to the Ruth's (single women) is: "Keep serving and gleaning unto the Lord where He is leading you...your Boaz is near!"And a word to the Boaz's (single men): "Untie your shoe* laces...and prepare yourself to redeem your 'Ruth'"

in line with Hebrew 13:7 "Remember your leaders, who spoke the word of God to you. Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith." I take this time to honour Denise Gaisford my sunday school teacher, Mr.Guzha my grade 4 teacher, Mrs Mhlanga my high school Scripture Union teacher, Mrs Mataranyika for praying for the Holy Spirit baptism in high school,
Pastor George Chigwada for for fathering me and realising my calling when I was still in high school, David Smit for sherpherding me, Paul and Delia Vandoros for nurturing me and grooming my leadership skills, Abigail James for mothering me and many that have sowed a seed of love and destiny in my life, Mitchell Rose for realising my gifting and developing it and thank you God for Mitchell Rose for he gave me that platform to start and moderate Singled Out For God's Purpose on his online ministry 4 years ago and affirmed me and encouraged. Bless all these people and bless those that I may have omitted.Amen

MY Establishment-

On this day the 31st of May 2008, My covenant with God was established for me and my offspring and I honoured the Men of God’s children, after I gave a love offering to the Men of God and their children, I realised that :

Hebrews 7:9-10 (Amplified Bible)
“9A person might even say that Levi [the father of the priestly tribe] himself, who received tithes (the tenth), paid tithes through Abraham,
10For he was still in the loins of his forefather [Abraham] when Melchizedek met him [Abraham].”

My covenant with God establishes generations to come. I made a covenant for the children who are in my womb so my seed honoured the children of the Men of God , therefore God has established both me and my descendant because they are in my womb.

I am a reformer and my descendants will be blessed.

PROMISES FROM GOD’S WORD ABOUT MY DESCENDANTS

Psalm 102:28 (New International Version)
28 The children of your servants will live in your presence; their descendants will be established before you."
Psalm 112:1-2
1[a] Praise the LORD. [b] Blessed is the man who fears the LORD, who finds great delight in his commands.
2 His children will be mighty in the land; the generation of the upright will be blessed
Psalm 103:17
17 But from everlasting to everlasting the LORD's love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children's children
Isaiah 54:13
13 All your sons will be taught by the LORD, and great will be your children's peace.
Deuteronomy 28:4
4 The fruit of your womb will be blessed…
Isaiah 44:3
3 For I will pour water on the thirsty land, and streams on the dry ground; I will pour out my Spirit on your offspring, and my blessing on your descendants.
Isaiah 8:18
18 Here am I, and the children the LORD has given me. We are signs and symbols in Israel from the LORD Almighty, who dwells on Mount Zion.
Isaiah 61:9
9 Their descendants will be known among the nations and their offspring among the peoples. All who see them will acknowledge that they are a people the LORD has blessed."
Isaiah 65:23-24
23 They will not toil in vain or bear children doomed to misfortune; for they will be a people blessed by the LORD, they and their descendants with them.
24 Before they call I will answer; while they are still speaking I will hear.
Psalm 17:14
14 O LORD, by your hand save me from such men, from men of this world whose reward is in this life. You still the hunger of those you cherish; their sons have plenty, and they store up wealth for their children.
Joel 2:28
28 "And afterward, I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your old men will dream dreams, your young men will see visions.