GOD DOES HAVE SOMEONE FOR YOU!!!!!!

Talking from experience I have come to realize that God’s people often find it difficult meeting the right person to share their lives with. As the years go by they meet many people, but don’t seem to truly connect with anyone, and that can cause some alarm bells to go off. The perception that there is nobody out there that will be a suitable match, or that God does not intend for them to be married, can then easily get a foothold in their hearts.

However, God said in Gen 2:18: “It is not good for the man to live alone. I will make him a suitable companion”. This is a general statement made by God Himself, by which He declared that a man should have a wife (and by implication that a woman should have a husband). It is true that some people have a special gift to be single, like Paul said he had, but then those people will be content with their state of singleness. This gift of celibacy is very rare, and God gives it to people who have special callings in His kingdom, like Paul who was a traveling Evangelist. In Paul’s case having a wife and kids would have been very difficult, and for that purpose God gave him this special ability to be content with his singleness. However, if someone feels a desire to be united with another, then it is generally correct to believe that God intends for that person to be married. People who doubt that God has a suitable companion for them, but they feel a definite desire to have a spouse, should feel encouraged by this statement of God in Gen 2. If one truly desires not to be alone, then God wants to fulfill that desire. God is a loving father, and it is not in His character to put a desire in a person’s heart, and then take pleasure in torturing that person by withholding fulfillment of that desire.

The story of Adam and Eve in Gen 2 provides wonderful insight in how God intends to provide a spouse to every one of His children. The way God brought Eve into Adam’s life, illustrates general principles which we can learn from. Adam and Eve’s love story began by God’s declaration in Gen 2:18 that it is not good for the man to be alone, and that He Himself will make a plan to bring someone into Adam’s life. However, immediately after this declaration, the story seems to change. In verse 19 the Bible explains how God created all the animals, and brought them to Adam in order for him to name them all. At that point Adam already had a desire to have somebody, and although God promised a suitable companion, God didn’t bring Eve immediately into his life. Instead, God gave him a job to do first. God intended for Adam to have dominion over his environment. This is confirmed in Gen 1:26 where God said that He would make human beings, and that they would have power over the fish, birds and animals. I believe this says to us that God wants for a man to have his life under control, to be settled, mature, and stable in his ways, before he can have a wife. A basic need that every woman has, is to feel safe with her man. He must be able to provide security for her in many ways. For Adam, the journey to reach this point of dominion, was to name the animals. To modern men, maturity and dominion may mean different things, for instance to have a stable job and income, to be established as a man of God with principles, not to be selfish, etc. When a man is alone and cannot seem to find a partner, it may be a good thing for him to take a good look at his life and ask himself some tough questions. Questions like “Am I stable, mature, responsible, and a man of principle and values according to God’s will and intention for my life, or am I just drifting along????”

After Adam named the animals (or in our terms, grew up and became mature), the Bible says in verse 20 that Adam still didn’t find a suitable companion. That says something about him actively looking for someone special during the process he went through, but none of the animals were suitable to fulfill his needs, and that left him frustrated. In fact, Adam didn’t know what he was looking for, because up to that point (of his life) Adam had never seen a woman. He just knew he had a deep desire for someone special, but he couldn’t even define his own needs, because he had nobody or nothing as point of reference in order to understand his own desires. He longed for somebody, but he didn’t know exactly what she should be like. He also might have felt he has done everything God expected of him, and still nothing has happened. This is the frustration of many Christian men (and women). After they have walked in God’s ways, and have been obedient to His calling for them in this world, they still experience this emptiness, and don’t know how to resolve the problem. They may meet many people, but none seem to be compatible. Even when they are attracted to somebody on different levels, they still don’t seem to connect with that person in a way that their hearts truly desire. When a man (or a woman) feels this frustration, it is wise to go to God and acknowledge his or her dependence on Him to provide the right person. After all, He made the promise to bring someone suitable into their lives, which means He took that responsibility on Himself. It is important to understand that we do not depend on ourselves, and that without God’s intervention, the true connection we desire is not going to happen.

In verse 21 we see how God intervened. The verse says God caused Adam to fall into a deep sleep, and while he was sleeping, God did the unthinkable. He took a rib from Adam and formed a woman out of the rib. The sleep that Adam experienced implies a state of total rest. It is essential to reach a place of rest in God, and by doing that, we allow him to bring that suitable companion to us. We can frustrate ourselves tremendously in our own efforts to find the right partner, but God wants us to trust Him enough to go to sleep on the matter. However, to sleep on the matter does not mean being passive. One can only rest in God if one truly has faith that God will perform a miracle, but having faith also means to be attentive to the voice of God, and being ready to act when prompted by the Holy Spirit. When Samuel anointed Saul as king over Israel, he told him very specific things that God wanted Saul to know and what he should do, but at one point he simply said to him “…do whatever God leads you to do” (1 Sam 10:7). Samuel released Saul to act in faith when the moment for acting presented itself. If we can rest in Him, knowing He will fulfill His promise, then God normally starts working on our behalf, but at some point we will experience like Saul that God leads us to do something, and to reach out to somebody. We must keep our eyes on God and not on our goal to find a partner. When we do that, we will rest in Him, and then we will be able to distinguish His voice from other voices inside (like desperation, obsession and frustration), and as a result we will be able to move when God wants us to move. Until we feel God prompts us to act in faith to reach out to somebody, it is perfectly okay to meet new people, and to “scan the horizon” for that someone special, as long as we realize that we cannot depend on our own judgment. We have to be lead by God, and we have to wait on Him all the time.

Eventually the miracle happened for Adam - God brought Eve to him. In verse 23 Adam called out “At last, here is one of my own kind – bone taken from my bone and flesh from my flesh”. Adam was clearly very pleased with Eve. He didn’t know any woman before he met her, but the moment he met her, he recognized her as the one he was looking for. The reason was that God took her from something close to his heart (his rib). A man and woman should be connected at the level of their hearts more than anything else. Often God puts desires and dreams and likes and dislikes and gifts in a person’s heart. To truly connect with another, those same characteristics or at least an appreciation for those characteristics must be in the other person’s heart too. It is for instance impossible for a Christian to be truly united with a non-Christian, or to be united with someone with totally different dreams, values or lifestyle. Adam recognized Eve because she was like him. She was taken from him, and he recognized his own flesh and bone in her. A man and woman can only love one another deeply, if they can see a reflection of themselves in the other person. This does not necessarily mean two people must be exactly the same in every aspect, but it does mean that the other person must be able to value what they value, being able to share and understand their joy and sorrow, and support them in everything, and have common goals in life. There is a lot of truth in the saying that birds of the same feather, flock together. Don’t fall for someone with a heart totally different from your own.

The last thing worthy of mention regarding Adam and Eve’s love story, is found in verse 24 where the Bible says “… and they became one”. This is God’s heart for us. He wants for us to experience what it means to be fully united with another, to such extend that we act and live and think as if we are one. Total harmony between two people is only possible if God is involved in the relationship. Trust the promise of God. Believe that He has a suitable companion for you. Rest in Him. Allow Him to bring him into your life. He will not disappoint you.